Do you ever wonder if you’re the only one struggling with bumps and pitfalls on a daily basis? Listen to Real Talk: Essays from Real Life, straight from the CATCH Journal at catchiscommunity.org.
We’re recording those heartfelt and honest stories from parents and others for those who’d rather listen than read. When you hear people share their most vulnerable moments, you’ll know you are not alone.
So put in your earbuds and listen to Real Talk: Essays from Real Life.
You can read this In Real Life Journal post here.
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CATCH, Community Action Together for Children's Health, is a 501(c)3 that provides support and education for families around mental health topics. Original content and materials from CATCH and its collaborators are for informational purposes only. They are provided as a general resource and are not specific to any person or circumstance.
© CATCH 2022
When someone is struggling with anxiety, it's often hard to understand what they are truly experiencing. In this brave and personal poem, Shawn Oberholtzer offers a glimpse of what it feels like to live with this relentless mental illness.
Frozen on the couch, eyes locked on the floor
a bouncing leg waits for the psychological war
eyes shut and heart rate begins to climb
her head is clutched in her hands
she doesn’t want to spend another second in her mind.
Continue to breathe they say
just wait for the abuse to subside
but no one seems to understand how painful that plan is when applied.
Her heart pounds against her chest
and her forehead bleeds of her anxious sweat
her presence is quiet
for the battle is inside
her mind decides to attack its own breath
It’s the moment where emotions and logic don’t coincide
this isn’t something I’m saying to flaunt
or to tell you I’m not fine.
I’m trying to tell you that anxiety
is not as pretty as implied
Everyday I try to learn why it haunts
or the reason it goes at me with drive
if you know then tell me
tell me why on some days,
I barely feel like I’m alive.
Imagine the moment when nervousness and dread seems to thrive
my pinched out tears fall in a vine,
clenched fists just to survive.
Do you ever rest?
Will you ever go to bed?
Will I ever not be stressed?
trust me, I know I’m blessed
blessed with a great school
blessed with great friends
blessed with love that has no end
but I have one request,
to be free of this mess
so I can finally put this matter to rest
‘cause my mind needs to calm.
I know I need to open my palms
and release all these emotions I can’t place
but it’s the times I seem to be lost in space
that’s when my eyes glaze over
when my thoughts have taken over
hands start to shake
and reality begins to break
logic and reason are long in the wake
distractions aren’t the solution.
But is there any resolution?
Face it, they scream
but I’m down on my knee
begging for a break
or my logic to wake.
I’m not trying to be selfish,
I don’t want the attention that this makes
it’s not just for my sake
but the people around me who worry.
Unfortunately anxiety makes it all blurry
but I know they care
because if they didn’t they wouldn’t be there
every time I swear
or grow my blank stare.
I want to just run away from it......
but it will always be with me.
you and me
we are like a sailor and the sea.
There are brutal storms with moments of clarity
although they can seem long and weary
we must remember the sun rises every morning
and decides to shares its light with
the souls struggling to just simply live.